Another Catapostrophe!

Okay, I just can't stand this anymore. Intelligent, well-read people using "I" as a possessive!

Here's a quote from an email I received recently:

"This weekend, we celebrated Ted and I's anniversary."

I am not making this up! Even if I could, I wouldn't--because this just goes against all the laws of nature!

Okay, okay, before I pop a vein, I'm going to just calm down and tell you the appropriate way to express the same sentence:

"This weekend, we celebrated Ted and my anniversary."

That's right. "I" never becomes a possessive--or even a contraction using " 's ". Never, ever, never, never say, "I's birthday" or "her and I's house". For all that is good and holy, please learn the simple and proper way to express a first-person possessive: "my".

And just to get a little more specific, for those of you who care, here is more useful info on possessives:

If two or more people possess a thing, then only the last one in the list is given the possessive. For example:

"This is my dad, my mom, and my house."
"Today is Paul and Jan's anniversary."

If two or more people possess things independently of one another, everybody gets to be possessive. For example:

"Those are my dad's and my brother's cars."
"Yesterday was both Paul's and Jan's birthday."

I hope this clears things up. I'm feeling a little better now... except I just remembered someone saying, "I need you guys's help." AAaaaauauugghhhgh!

Until next time, I remain,
Your Grammar Grouch,
Susan K. Morrow

Gift Me with a Break

Oy. Some time ago, I complained about the word "impact" being used as a verb. My mom, or "Grammar Grouch, Sr.", has told me it is a lost cause, that I will just have to bear it when someone says, "How does this impact the surrounding counties?" So I grit my teeth.

And in fairness, using "impact" as a verb does make sense. It replaces the phrase, "have an impact on", so it's more effficient.

Also, I sometimes think we should have some verbs that don't exist. For example, I think "smallen" should be coined to mean "to make [something] appear smaller." As in, "This giant bed smallens the room."

HOWEVER (I was going to say BUT, but nobody likes a big BUT), the use of "gift" as a verb has finally gotten to me. It has gotten stuck in my craw and I just can't take it anymore!

Why, oh, why on God's green earth, would a person say "gift" when he/she has the perfectly good verb "give"?????

That's right, I said it. Just use "give", for pity's sake!

"John gifted me with a new car."

"John gave me a new car."

Seems like a no-brainer to me. Straighten up, people!

Until next time, happy grammaring!
Susan K. Morrow

Amazing Quote

Courtesy of Anu Garg of A Word A Day:

"When I read some of the rules for speaking and writing the English language correctly, -- as that a sentence must never end with a particle, -- and perceive how implicitly even the learned obey it, I think -- Any fool can make a rule. And every fool will mind it." -Henry David Thoreau, naturalist and author (1817-1862)

Happy Grammaring!
Susan K. Morrow