That's Italian!

All right, all right, settle down. True, I almost always talk about English grammar; however, I am also very handy with several other languages (although not fluent in any). At the very least, any English-speaker should have some familiarity with other languages, because English borrows so much from so many others.

And this is why I am grouching in Italian today!

Three Italian items have irritated me enough!

1) Mezzaluna:
A perfectly lovely word, meaning "half-moon". It's pretty simple: "mezza" means "half" and "luna" means "moon". You may recognize "mezza" from another word, "mezzanine". And you may recognize "luna" from words in English, such as "lunar" (pertaining to the moon) and "lunacy" (once believed to have been influenced by the moon).

So what's my ever-lovin' problem this time? Americans seem to be unable to pronounce it correctly!

Do you say "pee-za" for "pizza"? Indeed you do not! You say "peeT-za"!

"Mezzaluna", with its double-z, is pronounced the same way: "METT-zah-loo-nah"!

Simple enough.

Aside: "Mezzanine" is generally not pronounced with the "T" sound--but it should be!

2) Paparazzi:
My grouchy irritation with this one has to do with the plural. (For pronunciation of the double-z, see my grouch above.)

In Italian, nouns end with an "a", indicating a feminine noun, or an "o", indicating a masculine. (If you are familiar with Spanish, this is the same function.)

To create a plural (unlike in Spanish), the Italians substitute an "i" for the last vowel. Thus, ONE paparazzO becomes TWO OR MORE paparazzI.

Again, it's very simple, once you understand this rule of Italian.

Thus, if you haven't figured it out, I hate it when someone refers to ONE photographer as "a paparazzi"! No such animal!

Yeah, yeah, I know this one is hopeless, but I am trying anyway.

3) And finally, venti:
"Venti" is in common usage nowadays thanks to Starbucks. As you may be aware, Starbucks doesn't go for the typical "small, medium, and large"; they offer "tall, grande, and venti". These translate to "tall" (sorry, that's English), "large" (duh), and "TWENTY".

That's right, "venti" means "twenty", the number of ounces that the cup holds.

Now, around these parts (Central Texas), lots of people speak Spanish. And they seem to think it's somehow preferable to say, "VENT-AY", presumably because the Spanish word for "twenty" is "veinte", and it is pronounced with an "ay" sound at the end.

But this is Italian, people. So "i" at the end of a word" is pronounced "eee", just as in "paparazzi".

Seems simple enough to me, but I have even heard Starbucks employees say, "vent-ay". Grrrr. It's all I can do to keep from running, screaming into the night!

*****
Oh, I'm worn out from all my ranting.
Until next time, my friends,
happy grammaring!
Susan K. Morrow
http://SusanKMorrow.com

Stink, Stank, Stunk!

I've been quite surprised to hear this a number of times of late. I've even heard Clinton Kelly, of TLC's "What Not to Wear", who is normally articulate, misuse "sunk".

I'm talking about the verbs "sink", "stink", "drink", even "sing", and others.

I'm sure you learned somewhere along the way the very simple, "sink, sank, sunk". This illustrates the verb usage for different tenses:

"Today, the boat sinks."

"Yesterday, the boat sank."

"By now, the boat has sunk."

It's the same with any of those verbs.

"I drink coffee to stay awake."

"I drank too much coffee and now I can't go to sleep."

"Last night, I couldn't sleep, because I had drunk too much coffee."

It's pretty simple, right? To help you remember, here are the WRONG WRONG WRONG examples:

WRONG "When that sunk in, she changed her mind." WRONG

WRONG "He drunk a whole bottle of tequila." WRONG

WRONG "I told my boyfriend that his apartment stunk." WRONG

Remember, those are the WRONG ones! Use the right ones and I won't have to come after you with a pitchfork. Who'd have thunk it?

Any questions, you know where to find me.

Happy Grammaring!
Susan K. Morrow
www.SusanKMorrow.com

"Kids's"??? Really?

I am not even kidding.

I was watching "Untold Stories of the E.R." on TLC, "The Alleged Learning Channel", when one of the portrayers of a dramatization confessed to the doctor, "The kids's mother died last year."

Yes! She said, "kids's"! And it sounded like "kidz iz".

I almost fell out of my chair.

Do I really have to spell it out?

The plural of "kid" is "kids".

The plural possessive of "kids" is "kids'," pronounced, "kidz".

Nuff said.

I need some Tylenol.

Happy grammaring--or some grammaring, at least,
Susan K. Morrow
www.SusanKMorrow.com

Another Catapostrophe!

Okay, I just can't stand this anymore. Intelligent, well-read people using "I" as a possessive!

Here's a quote from an email I received recently:

"This weekend, we celebrated Ted and I's anniversary."

I am not making this up! Even if I could, I wouldn't--because this just goes against all the laws of nature!

Okay, okay, before I pop a vein, I'm going to just calm down and tell you the appropriate way to express the same sentence:

"This weekend, we celebrated Ted and my anniversary."

That's right. "I" never becomes a possessive--or even a contraction using " 's ". Never, ever, never, never say, "I's birthday" or "her and I's house". For all that is good and holy, please learn the simple and proper way to express a first-person possessive: "my".

And just to get a little more specific, for those of you who care, here is more useful info on possessives:

If two or more people possess a thing, then only the last one in the list is given the possessive. For example:

"This is my dad, my mom, and my house."
"Today is Paul and Jan's anniversary."

If two or more people possess things independently of one another, everybody gets to be possessive. For example:

"Those are my dad's and my brother's cars."
"Yesterday was both Paul's and Jan's birthday."

I hope this clears things up. I'm feeling a little better now... except I just remembered someone saying, "I need you guys's help." AAaaaauauugghhhgh!

Until next time, I remain,
Your Grammar Grouch,
Susan K. Morrow

Gift Me with a Break

Oy. Some time ago, I complained about the word "impact" being used as a verb. My mom, or "Grammar Grouch, Sr.", has told me it is a lost cause, that I will just have to bear it when someone says, "How does this impact the surrounding counties?" So I grit my teeth.

And in fairness, using "impact" as a verb does make sense. It replaces the phrase, "have an impact on", so it's more effficient.

Also, I sometimes think we should have some verbs that don't exist. For example, I think "smallen" should be coined to mean "to make [something] appear smaller." As in, "This giant bed smallens the room."

HOWEVER (I was going to say BUT, but nobody likes a big BUT), the use of "gift" as a verb has finally gotten to me. It has gotten stuck in my craw and I just can't take it anymore!

Why, oh, why on God's green earth, would a person say "gift" when he/she has the perfectly good verb "give"?????

That's right, I said it. Just use "give", for pity's sake!

"John gifted me with a new car."

"John gave me a new car."

Seems like a no-brainer to me. Straighten up, people!

Until next time, happy grammaring!
Susan K. Morrow

Amazing Quote

Courtesy of Anu Garg of A Word A Day:

"When I read some of the rules for speaking and writing the English language correctly, -- as that a sentence must never end with a particle, -- and perceive how implicitly even the learned obey it, I think -- Any fool can make a rule. And every fool will mind it." -Henry David Thoreau, naturalist and author (1817-1862)

Happy Grammaring!
Susan K. Morrow

It's "Voila!"

I think this is weird. I do. Maybe it's because I took French in high school and college. Or maybe it's because I read enough to have seen this word in print. But I think this word is in common usage and I don't understand why people are butchering it.

I know you've heard it used in spoken conversation, probably on TV. The word is "Voila!" It is a French word that means, "There!" or "There it is!"

"Voila!" has come into common usage in English and it seems a perfectly good word to me. So what's my rant about this time?

I have read materials written by educated people in which the word was presented as some variation on... Are you ready for this? "Waalaa!" See also, "Whala!"

Are you kidding me with this? This innocent little French word does not deserve such ignorant mutilation!

Let's get it straight: "Voila!" With a V.

Happy Grammaring. (Well, I'm not that happy, but maybe you can be. Pooh.)

Susan K. Morrow
www.SusanKMorrow.com