I've had it! Apostrophe abuse is so rampant and deleterious that I have decided upon a revolutionary solution:
Do away with the poor, pitiful punctuation mark altogether!
That's right! Dare I say it: the apostrophe has suffered long enough! Let us retire it to the Punctuation Hall of Fame with a lavish ceremony, tears, and speeches!
Seriously, wouldn't that make your life easier? Not having to worry about whether the apostrophe goes before or after the "s", no worries about apostrophes making words plural (They never do!), no more apostrophe catastrophes.
I've simply had it up to here with my own annoyance at improperly placed, used, or abused apostrophes. This solution will satisfy me, the grouchiest Grammar Grouch in these parts, so surely it will satisfy the typical user of English.
Everybody on board? Great! Let's do it! I mean, lets do it!
Until next time, happy grammaring!
Susan K. Morrow
